how to have a successful pity party

Yesterday was a tough one for me.   My body has multiple sclerosis and it chose yesterday to remember that.

I had plans – fun plans.  They didn’t work out.crying.baby

So I threw myself a pity party instead.    It worked.    Today my body is feeling stronger.  My spirit is back in shape too.

While I don’t throw these parties often, when I do – I go for it.

Here are some things I try to remember to have a successful pity party:

1.  Make it a finite thing.   I have an “official pity party box”.   It’s a 12″x12″ box (thanks to Tom!) decorated with pics (like a woman tied to a railroad track) and sayings (like “What good is a disease if you can’t use it?”).  Inside the box is Stuff ( e.g. love letters, my dad’s prayer book, false eye lashes, paper dolls, bubble wrap, wooden puzzle toys, etc).    Also inside are two tapes (remember them?) – BBKING and Patsy Cline.  I choose one of the tapes to listen to – when that music ends so does the party.

And yes, sometimes it’s a two-tape party.   Thankfully, not often.

2. Let go of guilt. We feel what we feel.   While I’m all for “sucking it up” in tough times, sometimes ya just have to move through it to get over it.  Pity parties do not equal living a life of sadness, hopelessness and despair.   Everybody DOES get the blues.   Ride that wave to the shore.   When you get to the beach-  stand up, dust off the sand and move on.

3.  Remember that you’re not alone. Everyone is cracked.  We’re all just dealing with our cracks in the ways that make the most sense to us.  Friends are a huge help with this.   Even though your actual pity party will probably be a private affair, letting dear friends know you need one is a gift for all.   After all, isn’t the sharing in the afterglow of a great bash often as fun as the gig itself?

So this is what I try to remember when I’m in need of a good pity party.   How ’bout you?