As I’ve mentioned here before, one of the richest memories of my life is how I used to get up at 5:30 in the morning with my dad. It was our time. We’d eat GrapeNuts and tell each other about the miracle(s) we’d seen the day before. I still try to like GrapeNuts and I still try to look for miracles every day.
Finding the miracles has been harder for me lately. I might notice (my word for 2015) lovely people, places, or things, but I’ve allowed circumstances, over which I feel powerless, to cloud my ability to recognize them as miracles. That’s gotta change.
Here’s how I’m going to change it. Yes/And. I completely accept the reality that YES there are many things going on the world, over which I have no control. AND while I continue to attend to what I can, I’m going to focus on the light, the good, the possible, along with the people doing the light, good, and possible.
YES, the divisions, gloom, fear, and darkness will still be around. My focus, however, will not be as glued to it, as it has been lately. I’m going to focus on the power of miracles. When I find myself tempted to dwell in the negative longer than is necessary, I’m going to seek out AND people, places, and things. AND people, places and things are the miracles Daddy and I used to share with each other daily. I’ll share some of them with you, here.
Within the past six weeks, four friends have lost their mothers and three have lost their fathers. And those are just the folks I know about. So, there’s a lot of love, loss and empathizing going on. There’s also a lot of story swapping – biggest surprise; toughest moments; funniest moments; and on and on.
So far, my biggest surprise has been how open and willing my hand feels, now that it’s no longer filled with a phone of some sort. Before my sister’s cancer diagnosis, in 2011, I wasn’t one of Those People who was attached to a cell phone. I became one of them quickly though. And I remained one until September 18, 2017. That was the day after Mom died. That was the day I realized, at 4pm, my iPhone had been in another room of my home than me for most of the day.
That may not seem like a big deal, but it sure was to me. So, now I play a little game with myself. Instead of constantly checking my iPhone for messages or social media updates, I give myself a mental gold star for every hour I’m awake and don’t look at my phone. Some days are more starry than others, but the more starry days are becoming more common.
Yes, I still check my phone when it rings AND I’m getting better at choosing to mute the ringer of my phone. And ya know what? It’s amazing how much more interesting people are when I give them my full attention.