As I’ve mentioned here before, one of the richest memories of my life is how I used to get up at 5:30 in the morning with my dad. It was our time. We’d eat GrapeNuts and tell each other about the miracle(s) we’d seen the day before. I still try to like GrapeNuts and I still try to look for miracles every day.
Finding the miracles has been harder for me lately. I might notice (my word for 2015) lovely people, places, or things, but I’ve allowed circumstances, over which I feel powerless, to cloud my ability to recognize them as miracles. That’s gotta change.
Here’s how I’m going to change it. Yes/And. I completely accept the reality that YES there are many things going on the world, over which I have no control. AND while I continue to attend to what I can, I’m going to focus on the light, the good, the possible, along with the people doing the light, good, and possible.
YES, the divisions, gloom, fear, and darkness will still be around. My focus, however, will not be as glued to it, as it has been lately. I’m going to focus on the power of miracles. When I find myself tempted to dwell in the negative longer than is necessary, I’m going to seek out AND people, places, and things. AND people, places and things are the miracles Daddy and I used to share with each other daily. I’ll share some of them with you here.
I thought I knew what I was going to share this week. And then that shifted.
This week Mom was transferred from her assisted living apartment in New Bern, NC, to a beautiful room at the Kitty Askins Hospice Center, in Goldsboro, NC. Why Goldsboro? Because this is a fabulous place and it’s the closest (to me – two hours) hospice house that had an available residential room. She was “excited” (her words) to move to Goldsboro.
I spent her first night there with her. It was tender and phenomenal to witness The Love and Respect she received from Minute One of her arrival. She especially loved the mashed potatoes and gravy that the angels from the Bethel Light Free Will Baptist Church Ministries offered (as part of the FEAST they provided). And the breakfast, the next morning, Mom proclaimed as ” the best breakfast I can remember having.” (which is poignant on.so.many.levels)
All that is good, very good. Mom is more content than she’s been in years. What’s tough (for me) is that I haven’t been able to talk with her twice a day, as I have for the past years because the phone in her room isn’t a speaker phone. So my ‘fix this problem’ self kicked in and I decided to replace the phone in Mom’s room with one that has a speaker phone.
And then. Yep, there’s always an Yes, And and and And Then. And I had a major.ugly.screaming.cry.that.probably.left.me.with.puffy.eyes.for.days breakdown. Then I had my first ‘burning bush’ experience, when I had a clear message from God.
God let me know, in no uncertain terms, there’s a reason they don’t have speaker phones in Hospice Houses. Speaker phones are for those of us who want to be sure we’re heard. Hospices Houses are for people who already know what we want them to hear and are ready to rest.
YES, I have no idea how long Mom will live at ‘Kitty Askins’, AND I’m glad to know the angels there know how to help her rest.
What, if anything, does this stir in you?